CLOSED

I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to tell you what happened. I don't want you to know anything other than it happened. It happened and I feel like shit about it. It happened and that's that. It happened and its not changing. It happened and I don't feel okay and I won't feel okay, I don't want to talk about it it and so I won't . I will pretend that I'm happy and I will tell you I'm fine so please don't be surprised when something unexpected happens. I can't talk about it. I can't talk about it. I can't talk about it. I can't talk about it. I don't want to talk. I don't want to talk at all. About anything. I don't want to give any part of my energy to anyone else. I feel hollowed out. I tried saying sorry. I tried making it work. I tried so hard not giving up. I tried lying to myself. I bleached everything out. I tried acting. I tried EVERYTHING. Some things just don't work out as planned.
Fucking planning. I planned on jumping of a tall tall building, but the elevator broke, and I died on the way up instead.
Fucking... planning.
people.
plans.
love.
your friends.
dreams.
hope.
time.
healing.

it's all.... a..... con.

I want a story.