lost

Sometimes I feel so.. lost. Not the kind of lost that will destroy a person. I have a purpose, sometimes I just have no directionality. Sometimes I feel like I don't have anyone. Not that people aren't willing- but I am not willing to accept. At one point I was, at one point I let all of you in. I asked all of you for help.



You. I'm sorry you've tried so hard to chip away at my 'shell'. I'm sorry you've tried so hard to help me and gotten nothing in return. I'm sorry I haven't gotten better yet. I'm sorry I don't listen to you. I can't blame it on the people in my past... as much as I wish I could say it's ALL their fault that I'm so afraid. Afraid of letting you in, afraid of shutting you out. I'm sorry I've stuck you in the middle- cemented between the bricks and my inside. But we're so close.. please don't give up on us yet- if you don't have to. I know you're scarred and callused, and I know it's my fault. Don't let me be selfish. Don't let me destroy you. Don't let me run my course if you won't be there by the end of it. I love you, so tell me what you need, and I'll do my best to give it to you. I'm too tired to hold my insides in any longer. I'm sorry if it's too late.


"this wasn't supposed to happen
Not according to you

Please don't allow your voice to fade
Don't fall so weak to fault or blame
To give yourself reason for an end

We'd have our own subway car in the middle of the night
I'd work the same job and play the same bars on every weekend

When you wake up with your family gathered around
Remember that our love was true
And I will not allow you to destroy yourself

I hope that I'm not revealing too much"